Saturday, March 17, 2012

I'm not who I was

It is a blessing to live close to those who have known you forever. They know all your intricacies and the quirks that make you who you are. They know your past so there's no awkward conversations trying to explain why you are the way you are and how you got this way. Sometimes they don't know how to help you move forward. They remember who you were and see you that way always. They see who you were in those inconvenient growing stages like being a know what I mean! I don't know about you, but I'm not who I was then. I don't think the same way or like the same things or make the same choices. I have opinions about things now that I'd never heard of or experienced then. I am still me, but better, and still growing by the magnificent grace of God. As parents we don't want our children to be different than we were or are. We want to live vicariously through them. We want them to make choices different than ours. We want them to live our lives, only better. But our children are not ours. It's not up to us how they live their lives. God's will is infinitely better than what we could even imagine. We have to let go. Push our birdies out of the safe nest and out into whatever God's will holds for them. And we have to respect that we might not always agree with what God has chosen for them or what they feel God is leading them towards.
I wish you could see me now. I wish I could show you how I'm not who I was. Brandon Heath

1 comment:

Marie said...

i knew you {sort of} as a were lovely. just as you are now:) perhaps the Lord is refining your beauty and teaching you things, but you were never AWFUL {like i was}.

it is nice to get some perspective with all of our bumps and bruises though...i believe that sometimes i could just gag over how self centered i can be. thank God that He is systematically ridding me of myself. perhaps in 10 more years we will be so happy that we aren't like we are now.

i know it will be hard to watch our children struggle with things that we already know. but when the time comes, hopefully we won't act like teenagers and say 'i told you so'