What a high needs child is....
1. Intense: Intense babies become the intense toddlers, characterized by one word -- "driven." They seem in high gear all the time. Their drive to explore and experiment with everything in reach leaves no household item safe.
2. Hyperactive: This feature of high need babies, and its cousin hypertonic, are directly related to the quality of intensity. Hypertonic refers to muscles that are frequently tensed and ready to go, tight and waiting to explode into action. The muscles and mind of high need children are seldom relaxed or still.
3. Draining: High need babies extract every bit of energy from tired parents -- and then want more. Babies take the fuel they need from you without considering whether they leave anything behind in mother's gas tank. The seemingly constant holding, nursing, and comforting leave little energy left over for your needs.
4. Feeds Frequently: Not only do high need babies breastfeed more frequently, the need for breastfeeding lasts longer. These babies are notoriously slow to wean. They realize that they have a good thing going and it would be foolish to give it up quickly. It is not unusual for high need babies (unless forced to wean before their time) to breastfeed at least two years.
5. Demanding: Being demanding is the trait of high need children that is most likely to drive parents bananas, but it is also the trait that drives children to succeed and excel. A high need child with a corresponding demanding personality will, if nurtured and channeled appropriately during the formative years, exhaust teachers as she did her parents; yet she will also be able to extract from adult resources, such as teachers, the level of help and education she will need to thrive in academic and social endeavors.
6. Awakens Frequently: "Why do high need babies need more of everything but sleep?" groaned a tired mother. You would think that high need babies would need more sleep; certainly their tired parents do.
7. Unsatisfied: Not being able to satisfy a baby's needs is very frustrating for parents of high need babies. It seems like a direct attack on your abilities. After all, isn't a contented baby the hallmark of effective mothering? Wrong! There will be days when you nurse, rock, walk, drive, wear, and try every comforting technique known to man or woman, and nothing will work.
8. Unpredictable: Along with their unpredictability, these children show extremes of mood swings. When happy, they are a joy to be around; they are master charmers and people pleasers. When angry, they let everyone around them feel the heat.
9. Super-sensitve: This acute sensitivity to their environment can become a rewarding asset as a high need child grows. These children are "tuned in" to what is going on around them. They are not distant children. Their keen awareness stimulates their curiosity, which in turn stimulates learning. They become kids who care.
It is a blessing to live close to those who have known you forever. They know all your intricacies and the quirks that make you who you are. They know your past so there's no awkward conversations trying to explain why you are the way you are and how you got this way.
Sometimes they don't know how to help you move forward. They remember who you were and see you that way always. They see who you were in those inconvenient growing stages like being a teenager...you know what I mean! I don't know about you, but I'm not who I was then. I don't think the same way or like the same things or make the same choices. I have opinions about things now that I'd never heard of or experienced then. I am still me, but better, and still growing by the magnificent grace of God.
As parents we don't want our children to be different than we were or are. We want to live vicariously through them. We want them to make choices different than ours. We want them to live our lives, only better. But our children are not ours. It's not up to us how they live their lives. God's will is infinitely better than what we could even imagine. We have to let go. Push our birdies out of the safe nest and out into whatever God's will holds for them. And we have to respect that we might not always agree with what God has chosen for them or what they feel God is leading them towards.
I wish you could see me now. I wish I could show you how I'm not who I was. Brandon Heath
It's one of those mornings where both my kiddos want to crawl under my skin...clingy, whiney, completely unsatisfied with ANY. THING.
Little man woke up at his typical 5:30am waited until 7am to eat and then wanted to go promptly back to bed. I'd have been a fool to not comply :)
Little Miss, however, has just potty learned at a little over 3 years old, and is taking to holding her pee so she can play longer. And just forget about the dirty side of potty learning. Slow and steady...she'll get out of pull-ups for that soon (we hope). She also switched to a toddler bed! Now, if only she'd stay in bed long enough for her to fall asleep...
"Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward."
Psalm 127:3 (KJV)
I've been AWOL here lately. It's the time of year hubby and I get scared. Both our kids were born at the end of October. Little Man came when Little Miss was just 15 months old and was born the week before her 2nd birthday. Let's just say Little Man has reached 15 months now and it's *that* time of year. Playing it safe isn't always safe enough.
As humans we want to control every. thing. *ESPECIALLY* when it comes to family planning. Being smart while surrendering total control to God is scary for us.
A baby would financially devastate us right now. We're just looking up out of the valley we are in. It's a long climb out from where we are. We want God's will in our lives and for our family. But our controlling human spirits *really* don't want our next baby to come in the midst of this.
And so at this time of this year we wait, stress, worry about things we should not control, and pray.
Philippians 4:6-7do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.